Taylor

This woman I follow on Instagram went to a Taylor Swift concert last night with her daughter and posted like 18 videos of it in her stories. I think it’d be fun to go to one of her concerts. My sister tried to get tickets to the latest Eras tour at Soldier Field but they sold out almost instantly in the pre-sale. The resale tickets are thousands of dollars.

This weekend actually wasn’t too bad. The boys had a home game they lost 2-15. The player performance was this weekend which is where I saw the kind woman I mentioned yesterday, who when I thought about it more, I was almost certain I had somehow hurt her feelings. I texted her to say I was sorry for not being with it when we talked and for thereby not engaging with her very well.

I’ve noticed that people tend to overthink their social interactions at times. In the past several weeks I’ve had two moms text me apologizing for some kind of thing they deemed as an awkward encounter or something they messed up regarding what they did or shouldn’t have said. Neither time had been hurt or offended, or even thought much myself about the incident they were mentioning.

But I know what that’s like, so you try to reassure them that really everything is totally fine. On other occasions, however, people really do make legit mistakes and missteps. They’re not always easily determinable, and it really depends on the effect your action or inaction had on the other person. Sometimes you have no idea you did anything to anyone, and those are the worst in my opinion.

Because they usually end up coming out later, and you’re blindsided. The most painful experiences I’ve ever had in a friendship are when they pulled away and I didn’t know why. It happened before I realized there was any kind of problem, and by the time I did, the cut had already been made that to this day I think I will always be more reserved with myself and with my personality than I once was.

That’s not to say there haven’t been positive outcomes and growth. I learned personally from that experience and realized with them how unthoughtful I’d been and was assuming that just because I was having a blast that meant everyone else was too. That just because I felt perfectly free and comfortable being myself that they were also having the same positive experiences that I was.

This woman did not go out of her way to provide me reassurance, maybe that’s something they don’t do anymore. We learn to be honest and upfront about our feelings, even if it’s only acknowledging them to ourselves. Even now, 70+ years in, she has reasons it’d be nice if someone were kind and thoughtful toward her. It’s something very true of people all throughout their lives.

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