On the days when I don’t feel well, it seems to be worse in the pre-noon hours. My mind has felt so blank and incapable of functioning on basic levels. I haven’t had energy at all but for basic functions revolving around taking care of basic needs. Food, water, sleep, movement. I’ve found myself concerned again, wondering if there’s something else I’m missing, that needs to be done.
I’m supposed take our son tomorrow to stay two hours away in hotel for the Thursday State track meet. At this point I can’t even imagine that being possible. I asked my sister to come with me just to have another person there for support. Originally we thought the boys had to be there a day early to practice, but they don’t actually have to be there until Thursday, so that could still change.
There was a post on Instagram this evening that completely irritated me. The vast majority of this woman’s posts provoke this kind of frustrated response. Ironically part of it was addressing the way women respond to what they see on other women’s social media accounts. I feel like I just sound like a troll whenever I try to comment on her posts. I’m just going to write about it here.
A slide by slide response to the eight slides recently posted by @__dearsister__ The original text will be reprinted first, followed by whatever I end up saying about it.
Slide 1: Insulating ourselves from the things that trigger sinful responses in us doesn’t deal with the sin at all.
My thoughts: Hmmm. Okay…(swipe)
Slide 2: “I feel jealousy when I see what other women have, so I’m going to unfollow women who make me feel that way.”
Sure, you could do that. And maybe for a season you should.
But you could also deal with the lack of love in your heart, evidenced by the fact that you fail to rejoice with those who rejoice, and instead practice loving your sisters in Christ.
My thoughts: Wow. Okay. That escalated quickly…
This is social media we’re talking about. I’m not saying these people aren’t real, but they aren’t in our lives the way the people in our lives are. You can follow up to hundreds, even thousands of different people on social media. Unfollowing accounts and narrowing social media input is probably more needed these days rather than less so. If a person chooses to unfollow an account then that up to them. You don’t have to respect it, but it can be acknowledged as a personal option without assuming the person unfollowing an account because of jealousy isn’t dealing with the sin, and implying the cure for jealousy is to rejoice with and practice loving your sisters.
Slide 3: “I feel resentful when my husband gets time for hobbies and I don’t, so I’m going to make sure I get my own hobbies so I don’t destroy our marriage with resentment.”
Sure, you could do that. There’s nothing wrong with hobbies.
But this ignores the ugly fact that your love for your husband and home is not truly selfless nor unconditional, and that some dark stuff comes out when you don’t get what you think you deserve.
My thoughts: Ugly? Not truly selfless nor unconditional? (sigh…)
Resentment in a relationship is very detrimental. It is a sign that something needs to be addressed and worked through. Recognizing it and taking steps to address the resentment and its causes is a good thing. Healthy relationships require working through the details of your lives to ensure that both partners are able to receive important things they need. Does your husband need time for his hobbies? That is something the two of you can work out. Do you need time for hobbies? That is something also the two of you can work out.
Slide 4: It feels good to remove the things that bring our ugliness to the surface. We don’t like to stare that gunk in the face. We don’t want to see ourselves like that. But seeing our sin in all its grotesque glory is part of the process of sanctification.
My thoughts: Sin is an ugly thing that has greatly defiled the human race. None of us are immune from its effects and we all posses a sinful nature that has been part of humanity since the fall of mankind. The greater part that also matters is there is a man named Jesus who has come and made a way for all our sins to be removed.
Slide 5: Pragmatism is not the way of the cross.
My thoughts: Love is.
Slide 6: Sure, we could avoid ever crossing our children’s wills so as to prevent any ugly display of defiance in them. But as their parents we recognize that this is something they must overcome.
In the same way, our Father often gives us the grace of an obstacle in our path so that we might learn to climb over with His help, but we find it easier to navigate a different route around it altogether.
My thoughts: …….
Slide 7: When we encounter something or someone that brings out the worst in us, is our response, “Away with it!”? or will we respond like Mary: “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.”
“Father, what are You teaching me through this?”
My thoughts: Wait, wasn’t that Samuel?...I’m not trying to be mean…
Slide 8: Yes, there are times to remove the temptation.
When it comes to sexual sin, for example, the prescription in the Bible is not to stand and fight but to RUN.
Other situations are best avoided for the purposes of healing or grief.
This requires discernment.
In general, though, those things which rub us the wrong way are valuable diagnostic tools if we could only see and respond to them as such.
My thoughts: This post is a diagnostic tool serving to reveal that I still struggle to read these Christian womanhood posts that seem so often to come from an ungracious place. Is that me making a personal judgement? Yes it is. I get tired of reading them, the mixture of good with the words of accusation. You can live like that for a while. You can enjoy those kinds of “convicting” words as they provide some sense of control and direction, but it will not last. It can’t be all up to you.