There comes a point in times like this where all that’s left is to wait on God. You’ve done what you can do. You’ve said what you can say. You’ve laid it all out there and the saying and doing have reached their limit.
I have never, and I mean never, been this physically struck down, or had a physical recovery take this long. God’s not showing up in my bed each morning with his maps and itinerary saying, “Okay, here’s there plan…”
Josh and I went and met with an older but familiar Christian couple over the weekend. I informed them ahead of time of my physical and overall weakened condition, and let them know we would probably not be able to stay too long.
But I am saying “NO NO NO” to anymore seclusion and isolation. I told my husband six months ago, that should God grant us another season of life together after this one, there are two things I am insisting on having.
I can’t remember what the first thing was. But the second one was “Friends”. I didn’t say this out loud but in my mind I was thinking to myself, “I will not submit again to another long season of friendless ministry.”
These people took us in and loved us. While I’m sure they were concerned about me having to excuse myself from the table to go sit in the couch while my body involuntarily twitched, they accepted us anyway.
I will wait on God as we are often called to do. But I am not waiting any longer to make changes in my life that I am able to do something about. I am done with the false piety, the false waiting and trusting. God alone is my song.