I texted Laura’s mom to see if she was up for a visit. She’s a week out from her knee replacement surgery and is recovering nicely with Laura there helping her. Before I left, I said goodbye to the nurse and her husband until the next time. This is her 20th year anniversary being the camp nurse for Joyful Hearts. I feel like we should’ve gotten her a plaque or something. There’s those people you just love and appreciate so much.

Laura wants to make her own cakes for the wedding. Bless her heart, her parents’ basement has basically become the wedding laboratory for assembling bouquets, crafting table decorations, sketching beautiful lettering and artwork onto thrifted frames and glass, embroidering her and Ethan’s reception shoes, and whatever else. She showed me the gifts that people have already started sending from the registry.

So that got me kind of excited about things. I’ve been feeling kind of frustrated that she’s doing so much of the work, including the calling and texting for the ongoing apartment hunting. He told me today that there may have been a breakthrough in their search because a woman called back and said a 1-bedroom apartment was opening up in July. I’d texted Laura another one I’d found online yesterday. She’d already applied.

Her grandma gave her a box full of hand-sewn home decor. There were fall and spring and fourth of July table runners. I started to get emotional when she pulled out the quilted and colorful birthday sign. They would have a sign like we did, and I felt a warm glow of memory, like I had done something right and created years of memories and rituals that would now be carried forth into the future to be weaved into new ones.

I was kind of mad at myself on the way home. I have this wonderful life with this man I share kids with along with this cute little love story. Why am I not happier about all of this more of the time? I don’t know, I could hear myself say it and see the truth there. The explaining, the educating, the giving up and quitting trying. But every once in a while I will hear something, like when he says we’re basically each other’s only friend.