Today was a good day at Hope. I love them all, but I really like working with the couples and having those different experiences. I started the day telling people I was in a very affirming mood and so I was thanking them for taking time out of their days to make time for each other and for doing this work. One of the wives was very emotional (crying) throughout most of the session and it did not occur to me until later to have them move closer together on the couch and give/receive comfort.

If each of them were willing. I have noticed that part of my style is to zero in on the emotional experience of each person, like we’re taking a magnifying glass at looking closer at what’s happening. That and slowing the entire process down. A theme of the past week in the education has been giving your partner feedback in bite-sized amounts. This way you aren’t overwhelming the hearer. And then having the hearer knowing the importance of staying present even when it is hard.

But you don’t want it to be too hard which is why I am regularly checking in. At least in the beginning when all this is new and your nervous systems are adjusting to having a different experience. I have to remember all of this myself when I am talking about bite-sized and want to keep giving information and skills. And also some hope and encouragement that even when progress feels clunky and slow the slowness is also working to help instill permanence.