My mind is needing to detox from all of the work things. I had intentions on what to write about but was distracted by the boys out running after dark. One is now home and the other is still out there apparently running seven miles. I could feel the rage simmering under the surface but when he walked in and I saw him I suddenly softened, not that I would’ve let that part of me touch him. I said, in what I thought was a loving voice, “That’s not going to happen again”. The being out after dark.

But how to distract myself in the meantime. The state fair is happening now. Somehow they always manage to get fairly famous country singers. This year I think it’s Lainey Wilson and I already mentioned once they are having Matchbox 20. They are having a tribute band do a Fleetwood Mac tribute where one night they’re playing all Fleetwood Mac songs. I really don’t like the fair and do not really enjoy going. I also don’t understand wanting to take your kids to Disney World for vacation.

It’s just never appealed to me. If my aunt was still alive and still had her lifetime passes to Disney World, I would definitely take her up on her offer to share them at some point. But when we were down there I always wanted to be with my grandparents as much as possible. The other one is back now. There isn’t much else to say. I almost had an inkling earlier to start the planning for Thanksgiving. With this one I said, “Judah dear…” and something about keeping the running before dark.