I haven’t been in the headspace to write much lately. Today I reached out to a neighbor who has attempted multiple times to invite me to do things with her, with the most recent being to join a legacy board for the Lutheran High School. I went over a week and did not reply to her text or to her email. Earlier this morning when I was awake again, I emailed her back telling her I did not want to be on the board. It hit me though that I’d been ignoring this woman who lives very close by to us.

And I really didn’t know why. So I wrote her back and sort of apologized and basically said that there is really no good reason why we couldn’t get together more, and that I know the fact that we haven’t is on me since she has reached out several times. I asked her how her back was doing and if she is able to go on walks. So she has not written me back but I am not expecting her to too soon. I started thinking that it might actually be fun to have a fun happy friend who lives so close.

Lila turned one month old today. I keep wishing I could call my own grandmother and tell her. It piles up to where I keep collecting things to tell her. By the time we see each other next I don’t know how that is going to work with my pile. If I will have it all there still or if we will just be so happy to be reunited and to live in the eternal present that none of the things that happened here will even matter. I could be fine with either way, or whatever way I haven’t even been able to think up myself.