Elianna and Zorro moved out to Grandma’s house this evening. It’s very different when they aren’t going far and essentially staying in town. Her room, like her brother’s, still has about a third of her stuff in it. My sister and I were talking about this yesterday and it came up as a joke that it was time to raise my standards. With two kids out, and two more who are not even here much of the day, it’s reasonable to expect a cleaner house.

Sigh. It’ll still have to wait. At this point I have it in my mind that when my children come to visit in future years then they will see how much things have changed and forgive me for my less-than habits. They will understand it was actually them and that I’ve been able to finally achieve some long held house goals, and they will be happy for me. That’s how I imagine it, where we don’t even remember or much think about those days.

We celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday a few days late. We brought supper and dessert and did the dishes. Every time we’re there I notice the picture of Papa on the entryway table. It’s the one of him standing in the frame of the house. That he is missing all this, I feel like he would’ve just loved to be here and experience everything going on. To think of him and remember this way, I don’t suppose that will ever change.