I don’t know what it was that came over me but in some kind of lightning bolt moment of clarity, I all of a sudden decided today that I don’t want to be at Thrive anymore. I reached out to another supervisor that I’d interviewed with and asked if it would even be possible to do something with her group practice where I was only working there one day a week. She wrote me back within a few hours and said yes. I wrote my Thrive supervisor an email this evening telling him I was moving on.

So I still need to have that conversation with the people I am seeing there. Whether I see them at Hope, or if they come with me over to the other place, or it’s decided we’re not working out anymore, I need to be somewhere without the nagging, ongoing sense that something is off or isn’t quite right. I just could not get over the awkwardness and the inability to truly be comfortable and fully come out of my shell. It did not go away. It did not get better. I am over trying to deal with it.

I’m not even second guessing or wondering if this was sabotage or impulse (at least not very much). I am grateful for my time there and was not mean about any of it.