My daughter told me that when we were with Miles and Graham it was like I just clicked and went back in time twenty years to become college kid like the rest of them. I had felt that myself in the moment, like these are just my friends and I’m talking to them like I would any other friend or person. I told her I was just being myself. It’s easier when we are all the same ages and place range. I feel the same way sometimes with Elianna and Laura, like these are just my girlfriends for a day.

And one of your friends has a baby so we are all playing house. We went to Walmart for Lila’s first grocery trip today. For all the times I have buckled a baby into a carseat, there was still that sense of “I better let mom have a look at this”, in the way that mom has the bond that is wired for protection and looking for threats. With what for me would’ve been “good enough”, there were position and strap adjustments that needed to be made. It doesn’t take long and they are growing out of it.

So at some point before I had to try, to push my mind back into things and switched back over to grandma. Grandmas are supposed to be homey and aged and grown up. So my mind formulated a menu and list of meals to prepare and leave with them for the rest of the week. Grandmas also buy things and help support their less financially established children. I reminded Laura, “I am a mom. I have to do this” and paid the money to restock the gatorade mix, detergents, diapers, eggs, etc…