We left Nebraska after church. I’ve been blessed enough to see Lila three times in almost three weeks, and according to our schedule now, it’s going to be at least another three weeks before I get to see her. I really hope they move back close so I can help to take care of her. I can’t imagine how these families do it where they are multiple states away from their grandparents or parents. I would watch Lila every day and raise my children all over again. I’m making wild and outrageous claims.

So I’m supposed to go back to normal life now knowing this person is in my heart. The equilibrium of my life has been irreversibly altered and I do not imagine this a bad thing. If I could speak any more boldly, it would be to say that this motherhood endeavor has made me forever unselfish. If I had stayed out I was, what an absolute pity that would’ve been. But I was given the gift of being turned inside out.

Deep breaths…So we left Nebraska after church and made it home a little before 7. We stopped by Hannibal again and walked around campus for a little bit with Miles. I stayed behind them more so that I wouldn’t be intruding. Dad and the boys were ordering pizza and saved me two pieces for when we were home. Josh had been up in the early morning and written me a letter which was nice. To think how we could’ve missed out on all of this, and yet how we didn’t. I would not redo anything.