Today I officially ruined my chance of doing any future retreat sessions with my Thrive supervisor. After about two days a couple of weeks ago of one of the most intense experiences of hunger and desire that I have ever felt, I resisted every urge to make the call, write the email or text, or march right up to his desk and demand we end this painstaking nonsense right now. It was utterly awful. And then I woke up the next day and it was like a fever had passed. And I was back to myself again.

So I ruined my chances by coming clean and telling my husband that the reason I left several months ago was because of some kind of attachment that was messing with my mind and getting in the way of me and him. I told him that I loved him passionately and didn’t want anything else in the way of that. That I am sorry I am such a failure at mastering my demons.

He said that he loved me too and we’re both slow.