I’ve been doing some premarital counseling with my brother-in-law and sister. We’ve been meeting on Thursday evenings and wrapping up our time as as things get closer to the wedding. So far among other things mixed in there, we have talked about personality differences and how they are a thing to be appreciated and not despised, daily connecting rituals of greeting/departing/talking, how to come to a person when you feel they have hurt you, conjugal rights, and the actual wedding vows.

She pulled up the paper with the wedding vows they would be using. We read through them. They were slightly different than the ones we use in our Lutheran Service Book hymnal. I don’t even remember now what they all were but the man’s section, in his unique portion of the vow statement, had two verbs that he was promising to do. The woman had four, including the words protect and obey. I didn’t like any of this. So I went and got our hymnal and texted her the service.

There the words were a little different. The man had two verbs which were nourish and cherish. The woman had one which was submit. I mean, I felt like we could work with it since those were are at least in the Bible. It sounds like I was being demanding and difficult but I really wasn’t. The rest of the words in the hymnal were the same for both people. To love, honor, and keep, Forsaking all others, Remain united to him/her alone. To me I feel like the process is truly inspiring and romantic.