The boys and I started school this week. I’m keeping it real lowkey this year. The whole summer I’d been pretty ambivalent about homeschooling, not really knowing what to do about the school year. So I just didn’t worry about it too much, and even up until last week when I ordered their books, I’m going into this knowing I’m not who I used to be.

The past three afternoons we’ve gone down to the beach. Those are the moments of absolute bliss, where I feel completely whole and at peace with the universe. I’ve gotten in the water all three days and enjoyed it. We drive the camp truck down so I am not obliged to walk up the hill, but two of the three days I walked up the hill anyway.

It still doesn’t feel right. But it’s also more than I would’ve been able to do months ago. I do pray that someday I am able to look back on this time and vaguely remember what it felt like to be so physically impaired. I truly don’t care to experience anything like this ever again, and yet, I am thankful for the time it has given me with God and his comfort.