“Nobody can be interesting all the time, sustain high energy all the time, or fully invest himself or herself all the time. Never travel with anyone who expects you to be interesting, lively, and emotionally invested all the time. Real life doesn’t work that way. Neither does prayer.”
~Ronald Rolheiser, Domestic Monastery~
I am aware that when I write here I occasionally reveal what are glaring errors in my thinking. For example, after I wrote that one post about being upset that’d spent so much time of my spring break reading articles and threads about an article I’d read on the internet, I realized something. First, I had also just listed the various ways my family had spent some of their spring break, which all included doing things that they enjoy.
My husband enjoys doing special things for his kids. My son enjoys the Cardinals and watching their games. My boys enjoy playing Minecraft and learning tips from other players. My daughter, who loves animals, enjoys spending time with her cousins as well as meeting my sister’s new pets. There is nothing wrong with any of these activities and it makes total sense, that being the people they are, that this is what they were doing.
In that way, it also makes sense that I was spending my spring break, a time when one would normally experience a suspended time from certain duties, spending more time engaged in something like reading. In this case, my thing was reading about about a topic I am interested in and spending time also reading what other people have to say about it. Reading about what interests me is something that I as a person like to do.
“Why are you saying this? You’re just trying to justify the various ways you waste your time.” Actually, no. Two different things can be true at one time. There can be activities that a person enjoys and likes to do, such as reading or writing, and there can also be misuse or poor use of those activities. I don’t feel as though I am saying that right. What I mean is, I can be okay with spending time reading, and also be frustrated about it.
But back to the time thing, it seems to be a theme that’s come up a couple of times. There are a lot of things I currently feel frustrated with as far as my time goes. There are a lot of things I want to work on and do, things that take time, and time that takes me being able to better organize myself and choose the ways I want to spend it. This season of life is pushing me to grow in this area and it’s been good to do so. I actually like being organized.
Not that that’s a word people would use to describe me, by any means. I’m just saying that I’m willing to learn and keep trying, to keep growing in the ways God would have me to grow. Another thing I realized is that I misquoted Paul. I said he called himself a Pharisee of Pharisees but what he said, at least in the passage I was thinking of, was that he was a Hebrew of Hebrews. Maybe silly to mention but I also felt it worth doing so.
(The above would be a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT)