I’m super excited about my Strava account. My Garmin watch came in the mail this afternoon so I got that all set up and then tested it out in the water. All my kids have black ones so I decided to get aqua. I’m not planning to wear it all the time because I only really want to use it for workout tracking purposes. Today I did a mile in the lake and two miles on land. I noticed my walking pace was pretty slow and tried to speed it up to get it under a 20 minute mile pace. It felt like super speed walking.

It just helps to see these things sometimes. Today I was at Thrive in the morning and saw three people again from 9 to noon. I told another one that I was leaving and that my official last day there would be the 19th. Hopefully I will be done before then. I do feel bad about some of this and like I probably hurt the Thrive supervisor’s feelings. I don’t know if there will be another point or chance to try to smooth things over with him more, but today wasn’t that day. I didn’t see or talk to him.

I woke up at 4:45 in the morning feeling lonely and dissatisfied. Every couple of months I have to wake him up to tell him all the ways that I’m unhappy. I am usually thinking about it from my perspective but this time I was thinking that if I could go back then I wouldn’t choose or want to put him through all of this either. I think I have finally figured it out. If I can have a day or two where I can tell him that I’m unhappy, and at least not have to keep it all inside, I can genuinely be happy again.

There are things that are hard sometimes about being married to a person. But there are also things that are easy. For some reason after ten years of doing summer camp we decided we needed to plan an evening a week to get away from being here. It’s fine most of the time but sometimes it’s nice to have that tangible reminder and break that we do have a life together outside of camp. We went to chick-fil-a and then to Sam’s to pick up berries and juice for the boys and whoever else.

The last mouse said goodbye in the night. I ordered Elianna an Amazon card with three little mice on it and a blank space where I thought I could write a Scripture passage about God caring for animals. I forget exactly what I googled but I think the one I settled on was Psalm 50:11, “I know every bird of the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine (Christian Standard Bible).” That way she’ll have something to remember them. She can keep it on a shelf or use as a bookmark or something.